Colours of Charisma

Anomaly

Instead of being the avant-garde,
The glorified, unique abnormality
In my mind I’m merely the lone wolf,
The discarded anomaly

I hope for trust and camaraderie,
I strive to become one with the group
But those esoteric tales will always remain-
A boundary between me and the troop

I wish I was born with natural charisma,
I wish I didn’t need to try so hard
My acrimony has dissolved into fits of angst,
My self worth has broken to shards

Before, I craved the limelight with all that I had,
I desired to be the bona fide
I presumed friends were the result of bravado and brains,
But now all I want is to hide.

~An Aspiring Parvenu

. . . .

We all crave what we can’t have, and the second it’s in our grasp, it proves to be inadequate.

Once, all I wanted was to feel accepted. I didn’t want to be the anomaly. I wanted to fit in, no matter how different everyone was from me. If I wasn’t being accepted, I blamed myself.

But now, I’m proud to be a pebble in a crowd full of diamonds. I’m okay being who I am. My decision may not pave way for a journey full of sunshine and rainbows, but at least it’s my own path that I’m walking.

I don’t need to be a part of a group to feel loved. 
I need my insecurities to take a backseat, my heart to beat and my fears to retreat.

Love yourself first, and everyone else will follow. 

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Dyes of Desolation

Candles

I waited, I watched, I wished,
As the world around me derided
I don’t know why or how I did it,
But I left my thoughts undecided.

Fluttering in my chest was a sliver of hope,
That you’ll show up one way or another
But once the clock struck ten I wasn’t sure,
Why I had even bothered.

The empty seat in front of me,
Drew eyes all around
It stole the show and my pride,
In self pity I wished to drown.

You told me that you wanted me,
You promised me a date
But when the clock chimed eleven,
I stopped believing you were late.

I could feel the empathy radiating,
From all corners of the room
I pitied myself for ever believing,
Love for me could bloom.

I waited, I watched, I wished,
But the pain was too much to handle
Wallowing in my misery,
I blew out my birthday candles.

Hues of Heartbreak

Calligraphy

One word after another,
Carefully, taking it slow
I drew with ultimate precision,
How much I cared, you should know.

It had our names in calligraphy,
The black ink carved on the page
The amount of time I spent on it,
Right now just brings me rage.

Every intricate detail,
Every mark of the quill
Every single word,
I wanted you then and still.

That bookmark that I made for you,
It wasn’t the time I spent
I know it wasn’t much to give,
But you don’t know how much it meant.

It wasn’t the calligraphy,
It wasn’t the strokes of the quill
All I want to know,
Do you have it, still?

Hues of Heartbreak

The Bride

I gingerly made my way,
Ambivalence destroying my mind
I was finally finding transcendence,
My life had at last aligned

I hoped my makeup could conceal,
What I felt inside
Under my diaphanous veil,
Today, I was the bride.

And that was when I saw you,
The one I didn’t want to see
Tears threatening to fall,
I smiled miserably

White veil and red roses,
My dream had come true
The only person missing-
In my story was you

As I made my way up front,
I let the old memories die
You made the mistake of letting me go,
And now I wasn’t your bride.

Hues of Heartbreak

The Groom

I watched as you stood,
Like a porcelain doll
Being fawned over by the crowd,
Like Cinderella at the ball

With swan-like elegance,
You walked down the aisle
I felt numb with butterflies,
When you caught my eye and smiled

In that very instant,
My life flashed by me
And by life you know I mean,
You were all that I could see

White veil and red roses,
Your dream had come true
Any man would be lucky,
To spend a lifetime with you

As you made your way up front,
Your gown cascading over the floor
I tried to stifle my emotions,
And lock those old doors

I tried to be happy,
As your smile lit up the room
But alas, the past caught up with me,
And I wished that I were the groom.

Hues of Heartbreak

Dear Ex-Lover

Dear ex-lover,
I’m sorry for what I said
I pushed the blame onto you,
For how we came to an end

I’m sorry I didn’t understand,
All that you went through
I guess that I was so caught up in myself,
I didn’t bother thinking of you

I’m sorry I wasn’t there,
To support you on your belief
To give you a hug and a cheerful farewell,
Instead of the tears that streamed down my cheeks

I’m sorry for expecting all of you,
The things I never would’ve done
I’m sorry for jumping too fast into something,
Neither of us could run

I’m sorry for overreacting over this,
I’m sorry I told the world
I’m sorry that my emotions took over,
I hope you’re happy with your new girl

I’m sorry I was so serious and wanted to believe,
I guess that I was just so surprised that you fell in love with me.

Dyes of Desolation

Happy Endings

Happy.
Aren’t endings so?
Down and up.
Failure, then success.
Madness, then miracles.
Negativity becomes positivity.
Really, though, everyone says so.
Life becomes better
~One day~
Better, becomes life.
So says everyone.
Though really?
Positivity becomes negativity.
Miracles, then madness.
Success, then failure.
Up and down.
So endings aren’t happy.

Here’s another palindrome poem. If you read the top half backwards, word by word, you get the second half. It looks like a mirror. When read in each way it gives different meanings. Hope you liked it 🙂