Scared

Holding onto every second,
As if I’m struggling for a breath.

Dreading the day the end will come,
As if I’m waiting for death.

Taking notice of every little thing,
As if I’m a detective looking for clues.

Smiling as much as possible now,
As of readying myself for the blues.

Storing away every memory,
As if I’m chaining you to my mind.

Cherishing every moment with you,
As if you were the best thing I could find.

Giving you little pieces of me,
As if I need balance, gram by gram.

Loving you like I’m going to lose you,
Because scared is what I am.

It’s not the future I’m scared of. It’s a repeat of the past.

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Make My Day

If you say even a word,
A smile would graze my lips
Excitement travels down,
My toes to my fingertips.

Your presence colours my skies,
And brings radiance to my face
Every time you look at me,
My pain and sorrows erase.

Your laugh has no match,
I could go days listening to that sound
I feel at bliss when I’m around you,
A home I’ve at last found.

The butterflies died long ago,
After months of heartbreak and gloom
But you planted a garden inside of me,
When my love for had bloomed.

I know you can’t return the feelings,
You don’t think of me that way
But even one word from you,
Continues to make my day.

 

Reflection

There once was a girl,
With a fiery soul
A gentle heart,
And a voice so bold
Her beauty was praised,
Throughout the land
And every young lad,
Wished for her hand.

Suitor after suitor,
Came riding by
They stared at her,
Desire in their eyes
From princes to paupers,
All lined up to impress
One question was all she asked them,
Not more, not less.

“Describe my beauty,”
Was all she said
And the suitors all answered,
From the top of their heads
“Hair like husked corn,
Clear blue eyes,
And porcelain skin,”said Sir Kyle.

“Hair like ebony!”
Protested another man
“Lips red like a rose,
The fairest in the land.”
Several others tried,
Saying what they could see
For they all say in her,
Their definitions of beauty.

One saw a smile,
That brought joy to his life
In her face one saw kindness,
Another saw his wife
Days had passed,
But to her dismay
None of her suitors said,
What she hoped they would say.

The girl began losing faith,
And all her adherence
For not one of her many suitors,
Had described her true appearance
She wasn’t beautiful after all,
Or so she began to fear
When at last one came along,
To tell her how she appeared

There was one who found her beautiful,
It all became crystal clear
For as she stared at her reflection,
Her insecurities disappeared.

In a world where you represent everyone else’s definition of beauty, you are bound to forget yourself. You are bound to succumb to the wants of everyone around you. But you don’t need to change yourself for anybody. Self love is something that isn’t given enough importance, and I want to change that. Dear readers, you are beautiful. You are worth it. Love yourself.

 

 

 

The Reason For Seasons

You are Summer,
You spread happiness all around
With your effervescent nature,
You go out of bounds

Frolicking in a meadow of daisies,
You dance to your own beat
But you wait and watch till everyone’s happy,
And you’ll always be on your feet

Then there’s Spring who’s always a princess,
She’s strong and fearless, but sweet
You can see her cry in the hardest of times,
But she’ll never bow down in defeat

She’s got the delicate petals of a rose,
Which can always melt your heart
But when you least expect she’ll expose her thorns,
And she’ll tear your world apart

Next there’s Autumn with her sensible nature,
She’s intelligent beyond compare
She’ll outsmart you in any battle,
But in arguments she has no flair

She strikes you as the immature one,
Who only follows commands
She appears to be the timid one in the group,
But we’ll end up listening to her demands

Following her is Monsoon with her showers,
She brings despair is what they say
She can blow you over with her theatrical nature,
She can mold emotions from a splatter of clay

She can bring together the world under her blankets of tears,
Hand in hand we would stay
But then again she’s the magician behind rainbows,
She can pave way for a brighter day

At the end of the year comes Winter,
The coldest yet most festive days
She can move mountains with her formidable nature,
Yet her loving will stay displayed

She has the power to rule you over,
Change your opinion from scratch
Yet she’ll still show you how much she loves you,
Her warm hugs with hot cocoa can’t match

No season can last without the other,
They are a group of opposites who’ll last,
They make the year have its ups and downs,
On the world, their spells are cast

There is a reason they’d been put together,
To rub off their best qualities on each other
They are made to be united, to think as one,
They know they are better together.

. . . .
Every group of friends is like the seasons. Everyone has a part to play. It won’t be the same with even one person missing. Which season are you?

Dear You

Dear Sister,
You were always the one to brighten my days and bring a smile on my face. I could tell you just about anything without the fear of judgement and you’d do the same with me. My interests became yours and your friends became mine. We learnt to love everything about each other.
What made us stop?

Dear Best Friend, 
I could depend on you to help me during a mental breakdown and you could turn to me for advice even in the silent hours of the night. You were my walking diary, my unpaid therapist and my number one supporter. You were there to cheer me on even when I was at my lowest.
When did that end?

Dear Friend,
Somewhere along the way, my lows became normality and my happiness, nonexistent. My breakdowns lasted an eternity and my weakpoints outweighed my strong ones.
The balance was broken and depression threatened to vanquish my existence. I believed it when you told me that you’d always be there, but where were you when I really needed you?
Just like my happiness, did you disappear owing to my instability?
Slowly, as time and silence built a wall between us, I started to accept our fate.
Eventually, I added bricks to it, out of betrayal and grief.
Where did you go?

Dear Stranger,
We now pretend like we were nothing but acquaintances from the very start. You only need me as a source of entertainment. When I’m exuberant, you stay around. When I’m in pain, I’m exiled.
What I really want is for you to inquire; to ooze out every last detail and make me feel like you truly loved me and that our friendship wasn’t a fantasy my mind had conjured.
Prove to me that that unconditional support, stability and serendipity was a reality.
Prove to me that that girl I knew is still out there, so that we can embark upon the journey from strangers to sisters once again.

Love,
Half a Heart.

Craving

A craving so deep for something you barely know
Can only show how intrigued you are so

The questions tumbling out, one by one,
With each growing longer, the list’ll never be done

Everything about it ignites a spark of interest,
Which spreads far and wide, your knowledge put to the test

Every detail, every stroke of the artist’s brush
Every colour, every shade causing an energy rush

A craving so deep, so well hidden
A craving so strong for something forbidden.

Family

Mother’s hand was the first I ever held,
Her fingers were my only flicker of hope
Looking into her eyes and seeing that smile,
The world was a Kaleidoscope

My rabbit hole to Wonderland,
She helped me find an escape
Always the one to get me back on my feet,
Around her I always felt safe

She listened to my troubles and taught me to stay happy,
She helped me make new friends
She was always the one to bring me back to focus,
She was there to help me make amends

She taught me how to make my very first snow angel,
And my favourite origami cranes
She was there to witness my first day at school,
She helped me believe I was sane

I love her with everything that I have,
I’ll always keep her close
All the things she’s done for me throughout the years,
Mother’s Day isn’t enough to show

While Mother was Alice, Dad was the Mad Hatter,
Teaching me all there is to know
About flying a kite and riding a bike,
And how to play ball throw

He’d throw me up into the sky,
To the birds I’d say hello
And with the perfect catch I’ll be back in his arms,
Up again in 3,2,1 Go!

He was always the one who led me to adventure,
Making the darkness seem bright
Going horseback riding and camping in the woods,
The best were our food fights

Letting me tie his tie for work,
Hoisting me up on his shoulders
When he was around I was on top of the world,
He taught me how to be bolder

Father was the one who made me strong today,
He helped me face my fears
Even if that meant ordering my own food at McDonald’s,
I knew he’d always be here

Then came along my little bother,
Fighting was our one and only pass time
I love how we mastered the art of videogames,
Together we were partners in crime

When we decided to be nice we’d share the blame,
When one of us broke a vase
While playing hide and seek all around the house,
Mom’s punishments together we’d face

He’d let me dress him up in my fancy dresses,
And I’d gladly pour him some tea
But the next day it’d be my turn to play with his Nerf guns,
Not to forget his favourite Hot Wheels

Sometimes we’d have our sleepovers,
When he’d come to sleep in my room
The whole night we’d be laughing at old memories,
And all our dreams come true

He was my built in best friend all along,
Without him there’s no telling what I’d do

They’ve been there through everything and witnessed me break,
They’ll always be my family
No matter how much I trip on my own feet,
They’ll always love me for me.

Fairytale Ending

I can’t wait for my happy ending,
My turn to have a story to tell
Waiting for the day my prince charming will come,
To my past life I’ll bid farewell

Waiting for the day I’ll get a Valentine,
Wishing for a chance at this game
Hoping for the day my white horse will arrive,
My life will never be the same

Looking at the stars and wishing with all my might,
That one day he’ll finally show
One day I’ll have someone to sweep me off my feet,
There’s no chance I’ll say a no

Hoping for the day when he’ll finally ask,
When he’ll finally see me for me
Waiting for the moment when the world will be forgotten,
It’s just him that I will see

I wish I had my happily ever after,
Someone who could love me for my quirks
Someone who could accept me for who I am,
And see my flaws only as perks

I won’t stop believing that he’s still out there,
And one day our paths will intertwine
One day he’ll notice me and take an interest,
He’ll see me in another light

One day I’ll have my princess castle,
I’ll live my own fairytale
One day I’ll find someone who loves me back,
But for now I’m leading my own trail.

One Day

The day that we first met back in school,
I turned around and said hello to you.
It was a simple thing,
But now you’re my everything.
The day that we first met, I never knew,
How much I’d love you.

One day our dreams will collide.
One day our paths won’t intertwine.
One day will come when you’re not by my side,
But no matter how far we’re apart,
You’ll always be my best friend in my heart.

 

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